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Page history last edited by dm 14 years, 8 months ago

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood.

(2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts.

(3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.

(4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

    the social ramble ain't restful.

(5) Avoid running at all times.

(6) Don't look back, something might be gaining on you.

        -- S. Paige, c. 1951


A clash of doctrine is not a disaster -- it is an opportunity.


A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such

a speed, if feels an impulsion... this is the place to go now.  But the

sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will

know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.

        -- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul


A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

        -- Stanislaw Lem


A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated.  But an authentic soothsayer should

be shot on sight.  Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

        -- R. A. Heinlein


A halted retreat

Is nerve-wracking and dangerous.

To retain people as men -- and maidservants

Brings good fortune.


A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's all about.


A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I.  I

believe everything positively stinks.

        -- Lew Col


A man said to the Universe:

    "Sir, I exist!"

    "However," replied the Universe,

    "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

        -- Stephen Crane


A master was asked the question, "What is the Way?" by a curious monk.

    "It is right before your eyes," said the master.

    "Why do I not see it for myself?"

    "Because you are thinking of yourself."

    "What about you: do you see it?"

    "So long as you see double, saying `I don't', and `you do', and so

on, your eyes are clouded," said the master.

    "When there is neither `I' nor `You', can one see it?"

    "When there is neither `I' nor `You',

who is the one that wants to see it?"


A neighbor came to Nasrudin, asking to borrow his donkey.  "It is out on

loan," the teacher replied.  At that moment, the donkey brayed loudly inside

the stable.  "But I can hear it bray, over there."  "Whom do you believe,"

asked Nasrudin, "me or a donkey?"


A priest advised Voltaire on his death bed to renounce the devil.

Replied Voltaire, "This is no time to make new enemies."


A priest asked: What is Fate, Master?

    And the Master answered:

    It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence.

It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs.

    It is that which has caused nations to build byways from City

to City upon which carts and coaches pass, and alongside which inns

have come to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst and Weariness.

    And that is Fate?  said the priest.

    Fate... I thought you said Freight, responded the Master.

    That's all right, said the priest.  I wanted to know

what Freight was too.

        -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"


A sad spectacle.  If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly.

If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

        -- Thomas Carlyle, looking at the stars


A Scholar asked his Master, "Master, would you advise me of a proper


    The Master replied, "Some men can earn their keep with the power of

their minds.  Others must use thier strong backs, legs and hands.  This is

the same in nature as it is with man.  Some animals acquire their food easily,

such as rabbits, hogs and goats.  Other animals must fiercely struggle for

their sustenance, like beavers, moles and ants.  So you see, the nature of

the vocation must fit the individual.

    "But I have no abilities, desires, or imagination, Master," the

scholar sobbed.

    Queried the Master... "Have you thought of becoming a salesperson?"


A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

        -- Oscar Wilde, "The Portrait of Mr. W. H."


A would-be disciple came to Nasrudin's hut on the mountain-side.  Knowing

that every action of such an enlightened one is significant, the seeker

watched the teacher closely.  "Why do you blow on your hands?"  "To warm

myself in the cold."  Later, Nasrudin poured bowls of hot soup for himself

and the newcomer, and blew on his own.  "Why are you doing that, Master?"

"To cool the soup."  Unable to trust a man who uses the same process

to arrive at two different results -- hot and cold -- the disciple departed.


Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach,

Or what's a heaven for ?

        -- Robert Browning, "Andrea del Sarto"


All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

        -- Dante Alighieri


All men know the utility of useful things;

but they do not know the utility of futility.

        -- Chuang-tzu


All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

        -- The Book of Bokonon / Kurt Vonnegut Jr.


All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a

Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks,

tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks:

"Just lie down on the floor and keep calm."

        -- Robert Wilson, "John Dillinger Died for You"


An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God.  Some of these eyes

we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

        -- Russell Hoban, "Pilgermann"


An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.


    An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a

great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures.

I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment.

I have given up everything I was asked to give up and I have suffered, but

I have not been enlightened.  What should I do?"

    Otis replied, "Give up suffering."

        -- Camden Benares, "Zen Without Zen Masters"


And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the

hour of separation.

        -- Kahlil Gibran


Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this

big field of rye and all.  Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around --

nobody big, I mean -- except me.  And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy

cliff.  What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go

over the cliff -- I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're

going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them.  That's all I'd do

all day.  I'd just be the catcher in the rye.  I know it;  I know it's crazy,

but that's the only thing I'd really like to be.  I know it's crazy.

        -- J. D. Salinger, "Catcher in the Rye"


    Approaching the gates of the monastery, Hakuin found Ken the Zen

preaching to a group of disciples.

    "Words..." Ken orated, "they are but an illusory veil obfuscating

the absolute reality of --"

    "Ken!" Hakuin interrupted. "Your fly is down!"

    Whereupon the Clear Light of Illumination exploded upon Ken, and he


    On the way to town, Hakuin was greeted by an itinerant monk imbued

with the spirit of the morning.

    "Ah," the monk sighed, a beatific smile wrinkling across his cheeks,

"Thou art That..."

    "Ah," Hakuin replied, pointing excitedly, "And Thou art Fat!"

    Whereupon the Clear Light of Illumination exploded upon the monk,

and he vaporized.

    Next, the Governor sought the advice of Hakuin, crying: "As our

enemies bear down upon us, how shall I, with such heartless and callow

soldiers as I am heir to, hope to withstand the impending onslaught?"

    "US?" snapped Hakuin.

    Whereupon the Clear Light of Illumination exploded upon the

Governor, and he vaporized.

    Then, a redneck went up to Hakuin and vaporized the old Master with

his shotgun.  "Ha! Beat ya' to the punchline, ya' scrawny li'l geek!"


Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's

incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

        -- Muad'dib, "Dune"


As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp

the meaning of existence.  Both make one feel like a baby clutching at

a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

        -- Joseph Brodsky


At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all

my soul.  At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my

ignorance upon the shore.

        -- Kahlil Gibran


At the end of your life there'll be a good rest, and no further activities

are scheduled.


At the foot of the mountain, thunder:

The image of Providing Nourishment.

Thus the superior man is careful of his words

And temperate in eating and drinking.


Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

        -- Jean Anouilh


    Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and

    took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of

his followers.

    One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and

there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing.

    "Tell me, you dumb beast," demanded the Priest in his

commanding voice, "why don't you do something worthwhile?  What is your

Purpose in Life, anyway?"

    Munching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao replied "MU".  (The

Chinese ideogram for NO-THING.)

    Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was enlightened.

    Primarily because nobody understood Chinese.

        -- Camden Benares, "Zen Without Zen Masters"


Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to

know the answers.

        -- Gene Wolfe, "The Claw of the Conciliator"


Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no

wiser.  But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

        -- The Mahabharata


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

        -- Titus Lucretius Carus


Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

        -- Howard Chaykin


Certainly the game is rigged.

Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

        -- Robert Heinlein, "Time Enough For Love"


Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

        -- Anatole France


            Chapter 1

The story so far:

    In the beginning the Universe was created.  This has made a lot

of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

        -- Douglas Adams, HHGG #2, (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe).


    "Cheshire-Puss," she began, "would you tell me, please, which way I

ought to go from here?"

    "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.

    "I don't care much where--" said Alice.

    "Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.


Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

        -- Herodotus


Coincidences are spiritual puns.

        -- G. K. Chesterton


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

        -- Erma Bombeck


Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

        -- R. Geis


Death is Nature's way of recycling human beings.


Death is nature's way of saying `Howdy'.


Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.


Death is only a state of mind.

Only it doesn't leave you much time to think about anything else.


Depart not from the path which fate has assigned you.


Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help

the rabbit.

        -- R. E. Shay


Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't,

don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

        -- Joseph Heller, "God Knows"


Disease can be cured; fate is incurable.

        -- Chinese proverb


Ditat Deus.

    [God enriches]


Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.


Do not despair of life.  You have no doubt force enough to overcome your

obstacles.  Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night

for something to satisfy his hunger.  Notwithstanding cold and hounds and

traps, his race survives.  I do not believe any of them ever committed suicide.

        -- Henry David Thoreau


Do not seek death; death will find you.  But seek the road which makes death

a fulfillment.

        -- Dag Hammarskjold


Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.


Do what you can to prolong your life, in the hope that someday you'll

learn what it's for.


    "Do you think there's a God?"

    "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

        -- Calvin and Hobbs


Do your part to help preserve life on Earth -- by trying to preserve your own.


Don't abandon hope.  Your Captain Midnight decoder ring arrives tomorrow.


Don't abandon hope: your Tom Mix decoder ring arrives tomorrow.


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

        -- Baretta


Don't have good ideas if you aren't willing to be responsible for them.


Don't kid yourself.  Little is relevant, and nothing lasts forever.


Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.


Don't make a big deal out of everything; just deal with everything.


Don't stop to stomp ants when the elephants are stampeding.


Don't take life seriously, you'll never get out alive.


Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

        -- Paul Tillich, German theologian.


Down with categorical imperative!


Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your fate

and captain of your soul.


During the voyage of life, remember to keep an eye out for a fair wind; batten

down during a storm; hail all passing ships; and fly your colors proudly.


Dying is a very dull, dreary affair.  My advice to you is to have

nothing whatever to do with it.

        -- W. Somerset Maugham, his last words


Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

        -- Woody Allen


Each man is his own prisoner, in solitary confinement for life.


Each of us bears his own Hell.

        -- Publius Vergilius Maro (Virgil)


Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.

        -- Groucho Marx's last words


Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.

        -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"


Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect

that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers

and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the

essential death in which its subject's roots are plunged.  The natural

inheritance of everyone who is capable of spiritual life is an unsubdued

forest where the wolf howls and the obscene bird of night chatters.

        -- Henry James Sr., writing to his sons Henry and William


Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have

drawn them there.  What you choose to do with them is up to you.

        -- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul


Everything ends badly.  Otherwise it wouldn't end.


Everything in this book may be wrong.

        -- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul


Everything is possible.  Pass the word.

        -- Rita Mae Brown, "Six of One"


Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

        -- Marcus Aurelius


Expansion means complexity; and complexity decay.


Facts are the enemy of truth.

        -- Don Quixote


Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

        -- Sir Walter Raleigh


Faith goes out through the window when beauty comes in at the door.


Faith is under the left nipple.

        -- Martin Luther


Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

        -- Alice Roosevelt Longworth


... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter.

"I" do not matter.  No word matters.  But man forgets reality and remembers

words.  The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him.

He looks upon the great transformations of the world, but he does not see

them as they were seen when man looked upon reality for the first time.

Their names come to his lips and he smiles as he tastes them, thinking he

knows them in the naming.

        -- Roger Zelazny, "Lord of Light"


For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.


For good, return good.

For evil, return justice.


For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in

despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the

implacable grandeur of this life.

        -- Albert Camus


For your penance, say five Hail Marys and one loud BLAH!


Force has no place where there is need of skill.

        -- Herodotus



    Never goose a wolverine.



    Don't cut off a police car when making an illegal U-turn.


From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance.


From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

        -- Bertolt Brecht


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

        -- Miyamoto Musashi, 1645


Getting into trouble is easy.

        -- D. Winkel and F. Prosser


Getting there is only half as far as getting there and back.


Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

        -- William Faulkner


God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to

change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.


God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

        -- De Caussade


God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

        -- Alfred Jarry


God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

        -- Paul Valery


Good-bye.  I am leaving because I am bored.

        -- George Saunders' dying words


Goodbye, cool world.


Got a dictionary?  I want to know the meaning of life.


Great acts are made up of small deeds.

        -- Lao Tsu



For those who have had too much of Esalen, Topanga, and Kairos. Tired of

being genuine all the time?  Would you like to learn how to be a little

phony again?  Have you disclosed so much that you're beginning to avoid

people? Have you touched so many people that they're all beginning to

feel the same? Like to be a little dependent? Are perfect orgasms

beginning to bore you? Would you like, for once, not to express a

feeling?  Or better yet, not be in touch with it at all?  Come to us.  We

promise to relieve you of the burden of your great potential.


Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

        -- Ogden Nash


Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion.


Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have.


Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

        -- Oscar Levant


Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

        -- Socrates


He has shown you, o man, what is good.  And what does the Lord ask of you,

but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly before your God?


He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.


He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

        -- Sir Richard Burton


He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

        -- B. Franklin


He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than

three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked.

In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by

slashing his abdomen with a knife.  Just as the pupil was about to comply,

the Master stayed his hand, saying, "That is the 'Body of a rock'."

        -- Eric Van Lustbader


He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for

the human condition is a fool.

        -- Albert Camus


He who knows not and knows that he knows not is ignorant.  Teach him.

He who knows not and knows not that he knows not is a fool.  Shun him.

He who knows and knows not that he knows is asleep.  Wake him.


He who knows nothing, knows nothing.

But he who knows he knows nothing knows something.

And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing,

    he knows something.  Or something like that.


He who knows others is wise.

He who knows himself is enlightened.

        -- Lao Tsu


He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

        -- Lao Tsu


He who knows, does not speak.  He who speaks, does not know.

        -- Lao Tsu


    ...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither

does he hate it.  Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to

combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is


        -- Umberto Eco, "The Name of the Rose"


Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:

if you're alive, it isn't.


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our

thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another

in the waking state?

        -- Plato


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

        -- William Allen White


I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives.  I don't see why

I should have to believe in it in this one.

        -- Strange de Jim


I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or

whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

        -- Chuang-tzu


I do not seek the ignorant; the ignorant seek me -- I will instruct them.

I ask nothing but sincerity.  If they come out of habit, they become tiresome.

        -- I Ching


"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very

reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

        -- Gotama Buddha


I hate dying.

        -- Dave Johnson


I have a simple philosophy:

    Fill what's empty.

    Empty what's full.

    Scratch where it itches.

        -- A. R. Longworth


I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

        -- Publilius Syrus


I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

        -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"


I hope you're not pretending to be evil while secretly being good.

That would be dishonest.


I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!


I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a

living death?

        -- St. Augustine


    "I quite agree with you," said the Duchess; "and the moral of

that is -- `Be what you would seem to be' -- or, if you'd like it put

more simply -- `Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it

might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not

otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be


        -- Lewis Carrol, "Alice in Wonderland"


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a

guru at all?

        -- Strange de Jim, "The Metasexuals"


If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

        -- Friedrich Nietzsche


If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his

reverence for all of life.

        -- Albert Schweitzer


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around.

Trouble creates a capacity to handle it.  I don't say embrace trouble; that's

as bad as treating it as an enemy.  But I do say meet it as a friend, for

you'll see a lot of it and you had better be on speaking terms with it.

        -- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.


If I had my life to live over, I'd try to make more mistakes next time.  I

would relax, I would limber up, I would be sillier than I have been this

trip.  I know of very few things I would take seriously.  I would be crazier.

I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers and watch more sunsets.  I'd

travel and see.  I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I am one of those people who lives prophylactically and sensibly

and sanely, hour after hour, day after day.  Oh, I have had my moments and,

if I had it to do over again, I'd have more of them.  In fact, I'd try to

have nothing else.  Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many

years ahead each day.  I have been one of those people who never go anywhere

without a thermometer, a hotwater bottle, a gargle, a raincoat and a parachute.

If I had it to do over again, I would go places and do things and travel

lighter than I have.  If I had my life to live over, I would start bare-footed

earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.  I would play hooky

more.  I probably wouldn't make such good grades, but I'd learn more.  I would

ride on more merry-go-rounds.  I'd pick more daisies.


If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women

you've got in the house.

        -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"


If men are not afraid to die,

it is of no avail to threaten them with death.

If men live in constant fear of dying,

And if breaking the law means a man will be killed,

Who will dare to break the law?

There is always an official executioner.

If you try to take his place,

It is like trying to be a master carpenter and cutting wood.

If you try to cut wood like a master carpenter,

    you will only hurt your hand.

        -- Tao Te Ching, "Lao Tsu, #74"


If something has not yet gone wrong then it would ultimately have been

beneficial for it to go wrong.


If the master dies and the disciple grieves, the lives of both have

been wasted.


If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

        -- Anatole France


If there is a possibility of several things going wrong,

the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure

can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly develop.


If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing

of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur

of this life.

        -- Albert Camus


If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are headed.


If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

        -- John Sinclair


If you are not for yourself, who will be for you?

If you are for yourself, then what are you?

If not now, when?


If you can survive death, you can probably survive anything.


If you find a solution and become attached to it, the solution may become

your next problem.


If you fool around with something long enough, it will eventually break.


If you have to hate, hate gently.


If you have to think twice about it, you're wrong.


If you keep anything long enough, you can throw it away.


If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

        -- Simone de Beauvoir


If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

        -- Maslow


If you put it off long enough, it might go away.


If you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.


If you wait long enough, it will go away... after having done its damage.

If it was bad, it will be back.


If you want divine justice, die.

        -- Nick Seldon


If your aim in life is nothing, you can't miss.


If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do

have a problem.

        -- Richard Bach, "Illusions"


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

        -- Voltaire


Immortality -- a fate worse than death.

        -- Edgar A. Shoaff


In dwelling, be close to the land.

In meditation, delve deep into the heart.

In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.

In speech, be true.

In work, be competent.

In action, be careful of your timing.

        -- Lao Tsu


In order to discover who you are, first learn who everybody else is;

you're what's left.


In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom.

It is not always an easy sacrifice.


In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

        -- Anne Frank


In the long run we are all dead.

        -- John Maynard Keynes


In the next world, you're on your own.


Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as

`all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled

with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

        -- M. D. Epstein


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

        -- Edgar W. Howe


Intellect annuls Fate.

So far as a man thinks, he is free.

        -- Ralph Waldo Emerson


It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations.


It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is

lightly greased.

        -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"


It is Fortune, not Wisdom, that rules man's life.


It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do,

that makes life blessed.

        -- Goethe


It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live

at all.  And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result

is the only thing that makes the result come true.

        -- William James


It is only with the heart one can see clearly; what is essential is

invisible to the eye.

        -- The Fox, 'The Little Prince"


It is said that the lonely eagle flies to the mountain peaks while the lowly

ant crawls the ground, but cannot the soul of the ant soar as high as the eagle?


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the

devil when he is the only explanation of it.

        -- Ronald Knox, "Let Dons Delight"


It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works

and has his being.

        -- Thomas Carlyle


It will be advantageous to cross the great stream ... the Dragon is on

the wing in the Sky ... the Great Man rouses himself to his Work.


It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

        -- Washlesky


It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

        -- Stirling Moss


It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.


    "It's today!" said Piglet.

    "My favorite day," said Pooh.


It's very inconvenient to be mortal -- you never know when everything may

suddenly stop happening.


Joshu:    What is the true Way?

Nansen:    Every way is the true Way.

J:    Can I study it?

N:    The more you study, the further from the Way.

J:    If I don't study it, how can I know it?

N:    The Way does not belong to things seen: nor to things unseen.

    It does not belong to things known: nor to things unknown.  Do

    not seek it, study it, or name it.  To find yourself on it, open

    yourself as wide as the sky.


Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

        -- Buckaroo Bonzai


Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

        -- Muad'dib [Frank Herbert, "Dune"]


Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

        -- James Thurber


Life can be so tragic -- you're here today and here tomorrow.


Life exists for no known purpose.


Life is a grand adventure -- or it is nothing.

        -- Helen Keller


Life is knowing how far to go without crossing the line.


Life is like a 10 speed bicycle.  Most of us have gears we never use.

        -- C. Schultz


Life is like a sewer.  What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

        -- Tom Lehrer


Life is the childhood of our immortality.

        -- Goethe


Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

        -- Joseph Pintauro


Life is the urge to ecstasy.


Life may have no meaning, or, even worse, it may have a meaning of which

you disapprove.


Life only demands from you the strength you possess.

Only one feat is possible -- not to have run away.

        -- Dag Hammarskjold


Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

        -- Thomas J. Kopp


Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be?  And if, y'know,

if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I?  And if not

now, like I dunno, maybe like when?  And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe

like the Rolling Stones?

        -- Rich Rosen (Rabbi Valiel's paraphrase of famous quote

           attributed to Rabbi Hillel.)


Live never to be ashamed if anything you do or say is

published around the world -- even if what is published is not true.

        -- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul


Living in the complex world of the future is somewhat like having bees

live in your head.  But, there they are.


Loneliness is a terrible price to pay for independence.


Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and

long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his

pain and his aloneness without regret?

        -- Kahlil Gibran, "The Prophet"


Man's reach must exceed his grasp, for why else the heavens?


[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment

where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand

more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

        -- S. Kierkegaard


Mohandas K. Gandhi often changed his mind publicly.  An aide once asked him

how he could so freely contradict this week what he had said just last week.

The great man replied that it was because this week he knew better.


    Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do,

and how to be, I learned in kindergarten.  Wisdom was not at the top of the

graduate school mountain but there in the sandbox at nursery school.

    These are the things I learned:  Share everything.  Play fair.  Don't

hit people.  Put things back where you found them.  Clean up your own mess.

Don't take things that aren't yours.   Say you're sorry when you hurt someone.

Wash your hands before you eat.  Flush.  Warm cookies and cold milk are good

for you.  Live a balanced life.  Learn some and think some and draw and paint

and sing and dance and play and work some every day.

    Take a nap every afternoon.  When you go out into the world, watch for

traffic, hold hands, and stick together.  Be aware of wonder.  Remember the

little seed in the plastic cup.   The roots go down and the plant goes up and

nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.  Goldfish and

hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup -- they all

die.  So do we.

    And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you

learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK.  Everything you need to know is in

there somewhere.  The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.  Ecology and

politics and sane living.

    Think of what a better world it would be if we all -- the whole world

-- had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with

our blankets for a nap.  Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other

nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own

messes.  And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into

the world it is best to hold hands and stick together.

        -- Robert Fulghum, "All I ever really needed to know I learned

           in kindergarten"


Murphy was an optimist.


Murphy's Law is recursive.  Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.


Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

        -- Lao Tsu


My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior

spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive

with our frail and feeble mind.

        -- Albert Einstein


My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

        -- Christopher Morley


Nasrudin called at a large house to collect for charity.  The servant said

"My master is out."  Nasrudin replied, "Tell your master that next time he

goes out, he should not leave his face at the window.  Someone might steal it."


Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers

gathered around to hear what had passed.  "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I

only want to say that the King spoke to me."  All the villagers but the

stupidest ran off to spread the wonderful news.  The remaining villager

asked, "What did the King say to you?"  "What he said -- and quite distinctly,

for everyone to hear -- was 'Get out of my way!'" The simpleton was overjoyed;

he had heard words actually spoken by the King, and seen the very man they

were spoken to.


Nasrudin walked into a shop one day, and the owner came forward to serve

him.  Nasrudin said, "First things first.  Did you see me walk into your


    "Of course."

    "Have you ever seen me before?"


    "Then how do you know it was me?"


Nasrudin walked into a teahouse and declaimed, "The moon is more useful

than the sun."

    "Why?", he was asked.

    "Because at night we need the light more."


Nasrudin was carrying home a piece of liver and the recipe for liver pie.

Suddenly a bird of prey swooped down and snatched the piece of meat from his

hand.  As the bird flew off, Nasrudin called after it, "Foolish bird!  You

have the liver, but what can you do with it without the recipe?"


Ninety percent of everything is crap.

        -- Theodore Sturgeon


Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would.

The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

        -- Augustine


No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the

Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea,

Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if

a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne were; any mans death diminishes

me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know

for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.

        -- John Donne, "No Man is an Iland"


No matter where I go, the place is always called "here".


No use getting too involved in life -- you're only here for a limited time.


Nobody ever ruined their eyesight by looking at the bright side of something.


Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

        -- E. M. Forster


Normal times may possibly be over forever.


Not every question deserves an answer.


Nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood.


Nothing is as simple as it seems at first

    Or as hopeless as it seems in the middle

        Or as finished as it seems in the end.


Nothing is but what is not.


Nothing is ever a total loss; it can always serve as a bad example.


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

        -- Michel de Montaigne


Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

        -- Arthur Balfour


Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this:

to know so much and have control over nothing.

        -- Herodotus


Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.

        -- H. R. Haldeman


    Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great

crystal river.  Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs

and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and

resisting the current what each had learned from birth.  But one creature

said at last, "I trust that the current knows where it is going.  I shall

let go, and let it take me where it will.  Clinging, I shall die of boredom."

    The other creatures laughed and said, "Fool!  Let go, and that current

you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks, and you will

die quicker than boredom!"

    But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at

once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks.  Yet, in time,

as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the

bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more.

    And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger, cried, "See

a miracle!  A creature like ourselves, yet he flies!  See the Messiah, come

to save us all!"  And the one carried in the current said, "I am no more

Messiah than you.  The river delight to lift us free, if only we dare let go.

Our true work is this voyage, this adventure.

    But they cried the more, "Saviour!" all the while clinging to the

rocks, making legends of a Saviour.

        -- Richard Bach


Once you've tried to change the world you find it's a whole bunch easier

to change your mind.


    One day it was announced that the young monk Kyogen had reached

an enlightened state.  Much impressed by this news, several of his peers

went to speak with him.

    "We have heard that you are enlightened.  Is this true?" his fellow

students inquired.

    "It is", Kyogen answered.

    "Tell us", said a friend, "how do you feel?"

    "As miserable as ever", replied the enlightened Kyogen.


One day the King decided that he would force all his subjects to tell the

truth.  A gallows was erected in front of the city gates.  A herald announced,

"Whoever would enter the city must first answer the truth to a question

which will be put to him."  Nasrudin was first in line.  The captain of the

guard asked him, "Where are you going?  Tell the truth -- the alternative

is death by hanging."

    "I am going," said Nasrudin, "to be hanged on that gallows."

    "I don't believe you."

    "Very well, if I have told a lie, then hang me!"

    "But that would make it the truth!"

    "Exactly," said Nasrudin, "your truth."


One learns to itch where one can scratch.

        -- Ernest Bramah


One meets his destiny often on the road he takes to avoid it.


One monk said to the other, "The fish has flopped out of the net! How will it

live?" The other said, "When you have gotten out of the net, I'll tell you."


Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

        -- Baba Ram Dass


Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about

can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

        -- Lao Tsu


Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

        -- Laurie Anderson


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but

when there is no longer anything to take away.

        -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery


Perhaps the biggest disappointments were the ones you expected anyway.


Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

        -- John Keats


Push where it gives and scratch where it itches.


Reality always seems harsher in the early morning.


Reality does not exist -- yet.


Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

        -- Patrick Sky


Reality is for people who lack imagination.


Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

        -- Alvy Ray Smith


Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle science fiction.


Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

        -- Lily Tomlin


"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

        -- Philip K. Dick


Remember, Grasshopper, falling down 1000 stairs begins by tripping over

the first one.

        -- Confusion


Rule of Life #1 -- Never get separated from your luggage.


Seeing is believing.  You wouldn't have seen it if you hadn't believed it.


Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is,

having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well

burst out in laughter.

        -- Long Chen Pa


So little time, so little to do.

        -- Oscar Levant


Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

        -- Seneca


Sometimes you get an almost irresistible urge to go on living.


Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by

no means the only 'certain' standard.  If you mistake what is relative for

something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

        -- Chuang Tzu


Suffering alone exists, none who suffer;

The deed there is, but no doer thereof;

Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it;

The Path there is, but none who travel it.

        -- "Buddhist Symbolism", Symbols and Values


Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes


        -- Martin Luther


Take your dying with some seriousness, however.  Laughing on the way to

your execution is not generally understood by less advanced life forms,

and they'll call you crazy.

        -- "Messiah's Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul"


That that is is that that is not is not.


That, that is, is.

That, that is not, is not.

That, that is, is not that, that is not.

That, that is not, is not that, that is.


The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

        -- A. Camus


The best you get is an even break.

        -- Franklin Adams


"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

        -- G. Fitch


The chief cause of problems is solutions.

        -- Eric Sevareid


The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

        -- Alfred Adler


The days are all empty and the nights are unreal.


The door is the key.


The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing,

the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its

own capacity. ...  Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god

of the Northern Ocean, happened once to meet in the realm of Chaos, the god

of the center.  Chaos treated them very handsomely and they discussed together

what they could do to repay his kindness.  They had noticed that, whereas

everyone else had seven apertures, for sight, hearing, eating, breathing and

so on, Chaos had none.  So they decided to make the experiment of boring holes

in him.  Every day they bored a hole, and on the seventh day, Chaos died.

        -- Chuang Tzu


The farther you go, the less you know.

        -- Lao Tsu, "Tao Te Ching"


The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

        -- Maurice Chapelain, "Main courante"


The first requisite for immortality is death.

        -- Stanislaw Lem


The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

        -- Sophocles


The longest part of the journey is said to be the passing of the gate.

        -- Marcus Terentius Varro


The major sin is the sin of being born.

        -- Samuel Beckett


The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice

and tragedy.  What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the

master calls a butterfly.

        -- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul


The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and

robbers there will be.

        -- Lao Tsu


The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.


The moss on the tree does not fear the talons of the hawk.


The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably

not true.  It is the chief occupation of mankind.

        -- H. L. Mencken


The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions.


The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal.

The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may

experience it as such.  Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and

thinking: all the rest of the world is slow, gradual and stupid.  Whoever

could feel the course of a light ray would be very happy, for it is very

swift.  Thinking of oneself gives little happiness.  If, however, one feels

much happiness in this, it is because at bottom one is not thinking of

oneself but of one's ideal.  This is far, and only the swift shall reach

it and are delighted.

        -- Nietzsche


The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds,

and the pessimist knows it.

        -- J. Robert Oppenheimer, "Bulletin of Atomic Scientists"


Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking

almost gently.  The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all

possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

        -- James Cabell, "The Silver Stallion"


The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases:

"Let our thoughts be correct".

        -- Confucius


The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

        -- C. Glymour.


The questions remain the same.  The answers are eternally variable.


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but

that's the way to bet.

        -- Damon Runyon


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits,

but not when it misses.

        -- Francis Bacon


The savior becomes the victim.


The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.


The state of innocence contains the germs of all future sin.

        -- Alexandre Arnoux, "Etudes et caprices"


The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height

but just above the ground.  It seems more designed to make people stumble

than to be walked upon.

        -- Franz Kafka


The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

        -- Oscar Wilde


The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

        -- Lenny Bruce


The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

        -- Stanley Kubrick


The truth you speak has no past and no future.  It is, and that's all it

needs to be.


The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums.

It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish.

You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

        -- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul


There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

        -- Baba Ram Dass


There are no winners in life, only survivors.


There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of

discovering them over and over and over.

        -- David Nichols


There is more to life than increasing its speed.

        -- Mahatma Gandhi


There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

        -- Cato


There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

        -- George Santayana


There is no sin but ignorance.

        -- Christopher Marlowe


There is nothing which cannot be answered by means of my doctrine," said

a monk, coming into a teahouse where Nasrudin sat.

    "And yet just a short time ago, I was challenged by a scholar with

an unanswerable question," said Nasrudin.

    "I could have answered it if I had been there."

    "Very well.  He asked, 'Why are you breaking into my house in

the middle of the night?'"


There's only one everything.


To get something clean, one has to get something dirty.

To get something dirty, one does not have to get anything clean.


To give happiness is to deserve happiness.


To give of yourself, you must first know yourself.


To have died once is enough.

        -- Publius Vergilius Maro (Virgil)


To lead people, you must follow behind.

        -- Lao Tsu


Truth has no special time of its own.  Its hour is now -- always.

        -- Albert Schweitzer


Truth is hard to find and harder to obscure.


Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy

of him that brought her birth.

        -- Milton


Two men came before Nasrudin when he was magistrate.  The first man said,

"This man has bitten my ear -- I demand compensation." The second man said,

"He bit it himself." Nasrudin withdrew to his chambers, and spent an hour

trying to bite his own ear.  He succeeded only in falling over and bruising

his forehead.  Returning to the courtroom, Nasrudin pronounced, "Examine the

man whose ear was bitten. If his forehead is bruised, he did it himself and

the case is dismissed.  If his forehead is not bruised, the other man did it

and must pay three silver pieces."


Two men were sitting over coffee, contemplating the nature of things,

with all due respect for their breakfast.  "I wonder why it is that

toast always falls on the buttered side," said one.

    "Tell me," replied his friend, "why you say such a thing.  Look

at this."  And he dropped his toast on the floor, where it landed on the

dry side.

    "So, what have you to say for your theory now?"

    "What am I to say?  You obviously buttered the wrong side."


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

        -- Euripides


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

        -- Yates


We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

        -- Margaret Mead


We have only two things to worry about:  That things will never get

back to normal, and that they already have.


We have reason to be afraid.  This is a terrible place.

        -- John Berryman


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who,

content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

        -- Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)


We're all in this alone.

        -- Lily Tomlin


We're mortal -- which is to say, we're ignorant, stupid, and sinful --

but those are only handicaps.  Our pride is that nevertheless, now and

then, we do our best.  A few times we succeed.  What more dare we ask for?

        -- Ensign Flandry


"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is

weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me

the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious,

unfathomable; my interest has been to convince you that you must accept

responsibility for being here, in this marvelous world, in this marvelous

desert, in this marvelous time.  I wanted to convince you that you must

learn to make every act count, since you are going to be here for only a

short while, in fact, too short for witnessing all the marvels of it."

        -- Don Juan


    Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines

of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them...

    Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced

only by Masters of the Universal Way of Zen.  In it his mind floated freely,

able to rummage at will among the bits and pieces of data he had absorbed,

undistracted by any outside disturbances.  Logical structures no longer

inhibited him. Pre-conceptions, prejudices, ordinary human standards vanished.

All things, those previously trivial as well as those once thought important,

became absolutely equal by acquiring an absolute value, revealing relationships

not evident to ordinary vision.  Like beads strung on a string of their own

meaning, each thing pointed to its own common ground of existence, shared by

all.  Finally, each began to melt into each, staying itself while becoming

all others.  And Mind no longer contemplated Problem, but became Problem,

destroying Subject-Object by becoming them.

    Time passed, unheeded.

    Eventually, there was a tentative stirring, then a decisive one, and

Nakamura arose, a smile on his face and the light of laughter in his eyes.

        -- Wayfarer


Well, you know, no matter where you go, there you are.

        -- Buckaroo Banzai


"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no

wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

        -- The Mahabharata.


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

        -- Nietzsche


What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing

to compare it with.


What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

        -- Ursula K. LeGuin


What we Are is God's gift to us.

What we Become is our gift to God.


Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

        -- Friedrich Nietzsche


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

        -- Gandhi


When it's dark enough you can see the stars.

        -- Ralph Waldo Emerson,


When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is


        -- Voltaire


When the wind is great, bow before it;

when the wind is heavy, yield to it.


When you are young, you enjoy a sustained illusion that sooner or later

something marvelous is going to happen, that you are going to transcend

your parents' limitations...  At the same time, you feel sure that in all

the wilderness of possibility; in all the forests of opinion, there is a

vital something that can be known -- known and grasped.  That we will

eventually know it, and convert the whole mystery into a coherent

narrative.  So that then one's true life -- the point of everything --

will emerge from the mist into a pure light, into total comprehension.

But it isn't like that at all.  But if it isn't, where did the idea come

from, to torture and unsettle us?

        -- Brian Aldiss, "Helliconia Summer"


When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

        -- Brooke Shields


Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

        -- Lao Tsu


Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

        -- J. Winter Smith


Wisdom is rarely found on the best-seller list.


[Wisdom] is a tree of life to those laying

hold of her, making happy each one holding her fast.

        -- Proverbs 3:18, NSV


With listening comes wisdom, with speaking repentance.


Wonder is the feeling of a philosopher, and philosophy begins in wonder.

        -- Socrates, quoting Plato

    [Huh?  That's like Johnson quoting Boswell]


    Work Hard.

    Rock Hard.

    Eat Hard.

    Sleep Hard.

    Grow Big.

    Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

        -- The Webb Wilder Credo


Yes, but which self do you want to be?


You are never given a wish without also being given the

power to make it true.  You may have to work for it, however.

        -- R. Bach, "Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for

           the Advanced Soul"


You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

        -- Tim Leary


You can get *anywhere* in ten minutes if you drive fast enough.


You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

        -- Jeannette Rankin


You can observe a lot just by watching.

        -- Yogi Berra


You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.


You can't get there from here.


You can't mend a wristwatch while falling from an airplane.


You can't push on a string.


You can't run away forever,

But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

        -- Jim Steinman, "Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through"


"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."

        -- Charles Schulz, "Things I've Had to Learn Over and

           Over and Over"


You can't take it with you -- especially when crossing a state line.


You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads

lead down.

        -- Stanislaw Lem, "The Cyberiad"


You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

        -- Lois Platford


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are.

If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

        -- Lewis Carroll


    "You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you

any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you

fit to hear his view of things?"

    "Quite the contrary.  You must defend your integrity, assuming

you have integrity to defend.  But you must defend it nobly, not by

imitating his own low behavior.  If you are gentle where he is rough,

if you are polite where he is uncouth, then he will recognize you as

potentially worthy.  If he does not, then he is not a master, after all,

and you may feel free to kick his ass."

        -- Tom Robbins, "Jitterbug Perfume"


You will always find something in the last place you look.


"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said.  "Anything that seems

of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note.

Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care.

Because death is momentous, give it no thought; because victory is important,

give it no thought; because the method of achievement and discovery is less

momentous than the effect, dwell always upon the method.  You will strengthen

yourself in this way."

        -- Jessica Salmonson, "The Swordswoman"


Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.


Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true.


Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.  Being

true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the

mark of a fake messiah.  The simplest questions are the most profound.

Where were you born?  Where is your home?  Where are you going?  What

are you doing?  Think about these once in awhile and watch your answers


        -- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul


Your picture of the world often changes just before you get it into focus.


Your wig steers the gig.

        -- Lord Buckley


You may be marching to the beat of a different drummer, but you're

still in the parade.


The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

        -- Muriel Rukeyser


Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

        -- Jean-Paul Sartre


There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

        -- Paul Shepard


We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

        -- Mona Caird, 1892


The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

        -- Aldo Leopold, quoted in Donald Wurster's "Nature's Economy"


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

        -- Mahatma Gandhi


No people are all bad, just as none are all good.

Tecumseh, (Shawnee) to his nephew Spemica Lawba 1790


My reason tells me that land cannot be sold - nothing can be sold but

such  things as can be carried away.              Black Hawk, (Saulk)


Sell a country! Why not sell the air, the great sea, as well as the

earth? Did not the Great Spirit make them all for the use of his

children?                                       Tecumseh, (Shawnee)


Free yourself from negative influence. Negative thoughts are the old

habits that gnaw at the roots of the soul.

Moses Shongo, (Seneca)


...everything on this earth has a purpose, every disease an herb to cure

it, and every person a mission. This is the Indian theory of existence.

Mourning Dove, (Salish 1888-1936)


"Der bestirnte Himmel über mir und das moralische Gesetz in mir"

that is

"The starry sky above me, and the Moral Law inside me."

        -- The epigraph on Kant's tombstone.


The words fly away, the writings remain.


I am what you will be; I was what you are.


The people rule.


Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future


        -- Virgil


Anyone who understands everything that comes out of fortune probably

has a problem


If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

        -- Anatole France



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