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  A little pain never hurt anyone.

%

  "A unified, neutral Germany? Given that nation's heritage, such a

  phrase may prove to be the oxymoron of the decade." -Kevin M.

  Matarese, Fulda, West Germany; as seen in "Letters", Time

  magazine, p. 5, March 5, 1990.

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  A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. Include

  me out. -Samuel Goldwyn

%

  Christ was born in 4 B.C.

%

  Cum tacent, clamant. When they are silent, they shout. -Cicero

%

  Gentlemen, I want you to know that I am not always right, but I am

  never wrong. -Samuel Goldwyn

%

  Goes (Went) over like a lead balloon.

%

  Honk if you are against noise pollution!

%

  I'll give you a definite maybe. -Samuel Goldwyn

%

  I'm not going to say, "I told you so."

%

  I am a deeply superficial person. -Andy Warhol

%

  I'm proud of my humility.

%

  I can resist everything except temptation. -Oscar Wilde

%

  If Roosevelt were alive, he'd turn over in his grave. -Samuel

  Goldwyn

%

  If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

        -- Samuel Goldwyn

%

  If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me. -Samuel

  Goldwyn

%

  I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them five years.

        -- Samuel Goldwyn

%

  It isn't an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

%

  It's more than magnificent-it's mediocre. -Samuel Goldwyn

%

  May I ask a question?

%

  No one goes to that restaurant anymore-it's always too crowded.

  (attributed to Yogi Berra)

%

  Our comedies are not to be laughed at. -Samuel Goldwyn

%

  Parting is such sweet sorrow. -William Shakespeare

%

  Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry.

%

  "Professional certification for car people may sound like an

  oxymoron." -The Wall Street Journal, page B1, Tuesday, July 17,

  1990.

%

  Referring to a book: I read part of it all the way through.

        -- Samuel Goldwyn

%

  Smoking is the leading cause of statistics.

%

  Some bachelors want a meaningful overnight relationship.

%

  Talking about a piece of movie dialogue: Let's have some new

  cliches. -Samuel Goldwyn

%

  The scene is dull. Tell him to put more life into his dying.

        -- Samuel Goldwyn

%

  Thank God I'm an atheist.

%

  This report is filled with omissions.

%

  We are not anticipating any emergencies.

%

  We're overpaying him, but he's worth it. -Samuel Goldwyn

%

  His honour rooted in dishonour stood,

  And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true.

        -- Alfred Lord Tennyson

%

  The good oxymoron, to define it by a self-illustration, must be a

  planned inadvertency. -Wilson Follett

%

  An Irishman is never at peace except when he's fighting.

%

  I marvel at the strength of human weakness.

%

  Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it. -Irene Peter

%

  Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

        -- Josh Billings

%

  Of course I can keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that

  can't keep them. -Anthony Haden-Guest

%

  The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -W. C. Fields

%

  I distinctly remember forgetting that. -Clara Barton

%

  We must believe in free will. We have no choice. -Isaac B. Singer

%

  I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

%

  Monotheism is a gift from the gods.

%

  After they got rid of capital punishment, they had to hang twice

  as many people as before.

%

  I never liked you, and I always will. -Samuel Goldwyn

%

  Why don't you pair `em up in threes? -Yogi Berra

%

  Our similarities are different. -Dale Berra, son of Yogi

%

  After Donald Trump's stretch limousine was stolen and found

  undamaged a few blocks away; he said, "Nothing was stolen. I had

  an honest thief."-International Herald Tribune, page 3, March 2,

  1992

%

  Some bird populations soaring down

    -Headline of an article in

     Science News, page 126, February 20, 1993.

%

  Most bacteria have the decency to be microscopic. Epulopiscium

  fishelsoni is not among them. The newly identified one-celled

  macro-microorganism is a full .5 mm long, large enough to be seen

  with the naked eye. Described in the current Nature, "It is a

  million times as massive as a typical bacterium."-Time, page 25,

  March 29, 1993

%

  "Triumph without Victory, The Unreported History of the Persian

  Gulf War", -Headline published in the U.S. News & World Report,

  1992.

%

  An empty cab drove up and Sarah Bernhardt got out. -Arthur Baer,

  American comic and columnist

%

  She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.

        -- Arthur Baer, American comic and columnist

%

  The first condition of immortality is death. -Stanislaw Lec

%

  As famous as the unknown soldier.

%

  I must follow the people. Am I not their leader? -Benjamin Disraeli

%

  Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man

  can never learn anything from history. -George Bernard Shaw

%

  William Safire's rules for writing as seen in the New York Times

     Do not put statements in the negative form.

     And don't start sentences with a conjunction.

     If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great

     deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

     Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

     Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.

     If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

     Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

     Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

     Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.

     Last, but not least, avoid cliche's like the plague.

%

  Everyone writes on the walls except me. -Said to be graffiti seen in Pompeii

%

  I tripped over a hole that was sticking up out of the ground.

%

  I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after

  they're dead. -Samuel Goldwyn

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  Evil isn't all bad.

%

  I disagree with unanimity.

%

  "It's a step forward although there was no progress."

  President Hosni Murbarak of Egypt attempting to put the best face

  on a disappointing summit meeting between President Clinton and

  the Syrian dictator Hafez Assad.

%

  "I always avoid prophesying beforehand because it is much better

  to prophesy after the event has already taken place. " - Winston

  Churchill

%

 All truths are true to an extend, including this one.  -XA

%

 Assume a virtue, if you have it not.  -William Shakespeare

%

 All generalisations are dangerous, including this one.

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